I was trained in the first platoon of the army and sent to the battlefield.
I followed orders, charged forward, fired my weapon, and fired again to forget.
My skinny body was covered with gunpowder, smoke and blood. Slowly, I grew stronger.
Once, during a raid on a village in enemy territory, the unit commander tested me.
"You do it too. Attack a woman."
Among the captured women were some who still had children.
"William! Why are you hesitating? That's an order!"
I saw hell again.
Instead of obeying, I grabbed the commander's collar, stared into his rotten eyes, and punched him in the nose.
In retaliation, my comrades beat me and threw me in prison.
I was sentenced to prison for disorderly conduct and assault.
I tried to explain my actions, but the military ignored me and detained me for two weeks.
While I was losing hope, believing that the higher ranks were just as corrupt, I met a man in the cell.
He spoke through the bars in a hoarse voice:
"Hey, big guy. Did you throw a tantrum because the food tasted bad?"
"Who are you?"
"Raul Dicen. A man who doesn't fit in with the crowd."
"Me neither."
Sergeant Raul Dicen had been incarcerated for reasons similar to mine.
He was a friendly officer of medium height, with dark hair and a scruffy beard.
"My grandfather moved to Eldland thinking it was a land of hope and dreams, but he was wrong," he said with a bitter smile.
"The world is just business. Even if you try to live well, being part of a group twists your life," Raul continued.
"I'm William Stance. A man who refuses to be swayed and sticks to his principles."
"That's good, William. It means you're strong."
"I don't feel strong. I feel swept away. This world is much darker than I imagined."
"It is in extreme situations that a man's character is tested. Even on the battlefield, in the face of ruin, you must not be alone."
"Ruin?"
"The Dark Side of the Soul. The root of all evil is loneliness-a poverty of spirit."
"I am already poor and lonely. I have no friends."
"No. You have kindness. That is your wealth. And now you have a friend...right here," Raul said, pointing to himself.
---
Raul told me his dream:
To return to his hometown, get married, and open a store.
His bright black eyes shone with hope.
After we were released from prison, we stayed together.
I followed Raul and watched him fight.
Between fights, Raul would sit down, put down his rifle, take off his helmet, and pull an old book out of his pocket.
"What is this?" I asked.
"A book of poetry. My grandfather gave it to me. He said, "Use your imagination. There's more than one way to look at things."
Raul's words made me imagine the future his grandfather must have dreamed of.
"Who is the mastermind behind this war?" Raul asked one day, gritting his teeth and staring at the smoke-filled battlefield.
"Who gave them the authority to kill people whose names they don't even know?"
"William, just hold on a little longer," Raul said, his voice calm despite the chaos around us.
"Just a little longer. The war will be over soon."
＊＊＊＊
After the war ended, I had no place to go.
I wandered through Eldland, from south to north, from west to east.
Looking for a place to die, dragging the weight of my past with me.
As time passed, the memories of my father's ghost tormenting me began to fade.
But my mother's voice from that day stayed with me.
"You must live. That's the price you pay."
Sometimes faint memories came back.
I remembered my father standing in front of a sunset so vivid it seemed like a painting.
"Will, I love your mom. I love you too," he had said when I was a child.
Every time I remembered his words, my arms pounded.
"Will, a man should protect his wife," he'd told me once.
Money and disrespect had driven my father mad.
But was it really his fault that he could not bear it?
I co
uldn't bear the memories either. I felt weak and lonely.
Haunted by the touch of that day, I wandered aimlessly.
Comments
Post a Comment